Monday, July 20, 2015

Patriots' Resume' - A. J. Derby

What if New England Patriots' head ball coach Bill Belichick required resumes from his players - what would those look like?  We take a stab at them, in alphabetical order...

Dear Coach,

I know I'm probably headed to the Practice squad, but what else could I have expected from being a member of the Patriots?

I mean. you have Gronk, Chandler, Hooman and my former homie Jake Bequette already on the roster, you're probably only keeping three of them on the 53, with Develin able to fill in as an Hback, and Fleming and Cannon doing well as end-of-the-line eligible tackles...

...and I've only played the position for one college season at Arkansas after being a backup quarterback for a couple of years and trying out linebacker for size before settling on tight end.

In fact, I'm a wonderful toy to have on the practice squad - in one fell swoop, I can triple up as the opposition's quarterback, an athletic linebacker and their "move" tight end.

But, what if?  What if I tear it up in camp?  Will you keep four?

I know, I know.  If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.  I've heard it a thousand times and it only cracks me up when you say it.  You don't suffer fools or rookies happily, especially when both are combined into one cocky and stubborn kid that gave up a chance to be a full-time starter at linebacker at Iowa because I knew I could play quarterback...

...then spending a year playing quarterback at a community college only to end up a part-time quarterback-turned-tight end at Arkansas.

That's right, there were many who thought that I wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box for doing that, nor for when I got put in the poke for drunkenly punching out a bus window my freshman year - but there are others who see me as high-spirited and relentless and, apparently, you are one of those people.

I'm encouraged, because I know you've taken another college quarterback that you drafted in the late rounds and made him the hardest cover in the league, and I'm looking forward to you and the other coaches forming me into a weapon like Edelman.

I still want to play quarterback and maybe I'll get my chance one day, but I know that I have to make the team first, and that certainly isn't going to be at quarterback, not with Brady and Jimmy Football around, so I'll settle for tight end (even if it's on the practice squad) - but you know where to find me if you need me for a trick play or three...

...hey, you let Edelman do it in a freaking playoff game.  It ain't gonna kill you to turn me loose with a few in the preseason!

Sincerely,

A.J.

Resume'

Education: 

University of Arkansas
                       19 completions on 36 attempts, 178 yards, 1 touchdown, 1 interception
                       22 catches, 330 yards, 3 touchdowns
                       3 special teams tackles

Work Experience:

2015 - New England Patriots

Personal Information:

Born September 20, 1991 at Iowa City, Iowa
Height: 6' 4"
Weight: 255

Website:

A.J. Derby Player Profile - Foxborough Free Press



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